The Official Cornell Student Webpage

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about Cornell Students, REAL CORNELL STUDENTS.  This site is awesome.    My name is Kevin and I can't stop thinking about Cornell Students.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1.    Cornell Students are mammals.

2.    Cornell Students study ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the Cornell Student is to flip out and study for prelims.

Weapons and gear:

Textbook	Starbucks Frappucino

"Power Sleep" by Dr. Maas

Testimonial:

Cornell students can study anything they want!  Cornell students take prelims ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this Cornell student who was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the Cornell student read every book in the whole town.  My friend Mark said that he saw a Cornell student totally uppercut some kid just because the kid said Ithaca sucks.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that Cornell students have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will pull an all-nighter in Rand Hall!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

Cornell students are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Cornell students are studious, tired, cold, burnt out, smart, and sweet.  I can't wait to fill out my application next year.  I love Cornell students with all of my body (including my pee pee).    

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Cornell students?

A: Cornell students are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they study all week long, but on the other hand, Cornell students go out and party every weekend.

Q: I heard that Cornell students are always studying and being nerdy.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, Cornell students can be nerdy OR totally awesome. 

Q: What do Cornell students do when they're not studying for a prelim or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent putting on coats and scarves, but sometimes they watch Hockey.  (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of my best friend Mark studying.

He's a lot older than me and a Junior,

which is bragable.