> In England we're found under gooseberry bushes [Stachelbeerstrauch]
> I find this difficult to believe as gooseberries just aren't that
> popular.
>
> We're also brought by storks which is pretty much international
> I think.

What a bunch of wimps!

Where I was born, Beirut, Lebanon, we were not brought by storks! hah! the dang things would be shot down before they even got near. no, in Beirut, we were brought by armoured amphibious heavy lift Ducks! before they stealthily moved to shore, they would give us our final instructions, where to crawl, landmarks to look for, the passcry and other necessary information. At 0 hour, the duck would make land fall, if detected it would lay down a covering fire pattern of armour piercing rounds and incindiary shells, we would disembark, crawling as fast as possible for cover, as soon as we got to our designated areas the duck would almost submerge and get the hell out of there, we would be on our own. on my day of birth, the enemy fire was heavy, my duck had taken several hits, it was not distroyed but was damaged enough so that it could only manage a slow getaway. I was hiding behind the remains of a concrete wall waiting for a break in the firefight. Suddenly heavy shelling began both sides were using high yeild shells and incindiaries, there I was buck naked in the middle of all this. the other babys and I grouped together to make a rush across a small clearing. We made a run for it and we found out the reason it was clear was because it was a mine field. only half of us made it through intact. Suddenly there was a flury of gun fire, seems there were some guerillas in a building not far from where we were and they opened up with a couple of 50mm cannon. We instinctively hit the deck, easy since we didn'n know how to walk yet anyway. Two of us were blown away, only three remained. By some chance we had roled toward a hole in one of the walls that led to safety. We went through. We were instantly surrounded by heavily armed Doctors and Nurses, they did not fire but asked for the passcry, Waaaa Waaaa I went, Waaaa Waaaa went the other baby, but the third one yelled JIHAD! and with a blood curdling oath leapt for the throat of one of the doctors, he was instantly cut down with M16 fire. After that, they checked us for hidden explosives and booby traps and being clean of them thus I and the other kid were born!

That's how real men are brought into this world, not by being found under some stinkin' blueberry bush or being caried aloft by some flea bitten stork! Yeah! thats right! we bad!

-Ara (the mad armenian)