ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Drunk gets nine months in violin case
- Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
- Farmer Bill dies in house
- Iraqi head seeks arms
- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
- Stud tires out
- Prostitutes appeal to Pope
- Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
- Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
- British left waffles on Falkland Islands
- Eye drops off shelf
- Teacher strikes idle kids
- Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
- Squad helps dog bite victim
- Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66
- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
- Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
- Stolen painting found by tree
- Two soviet ships collide, one dies
- 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
- Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
- Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
- Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
- War dims hope for peace
- If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
- Cold wave linked to temperatures
- Enfiels couple slain; Police suspect homicide
More
humor