For Christmas, I got a book entitled ``Court In The Act: Humorous Moments From Australian Courts'' [1] by Beverley Tait, a former court reporter; it is full of wonderful gems like this:

Nervous prospective juror: Judge, I would like to be excused from the jury because my wife is about to become pregnant.

Counsel: Your Honour, he does not mean his wife is about to become pregnant; he means that she is about to deliver.

His Honour: He is excused. In either event, he should be present.

Major

[1] The Federation Press; Sydney, Australia; ISBN 1 86287 100 0

Selected by Maddi Hausmann.

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